Fear-Dare To Pass?

So, what to do when the big fear monster comes up.
Don’t try to tell me you don’t have any fear. I won’t believe you.
Fear is probably the biggest killer of dreams on the planet.
I know because I have wrestled the fear monster many times.
Many times she or he has won. Too many.

I have come to the conclusion now that I will win from now on. In order to outwit the fear monster, you really have to know it and be able to face it down.

Here are some things to know.
In spite of the fact that it may tell you some horrible things will happen if you do XYZ, it is lying.
It will not kill you to face it down even though it may feel like that.
The bigger the dream, the bigger the fear.
If you are really scared to try something, your onto a really big dream. Good for you.

The best solution sometimes to deal with it is to make it your ally.
First we have to figure out why it is trying to scare you from doing something you want to do.
The bigger the dream, the bigger the fear, as I said.
The fear monster is trying to help you, that is the weirdest part about it all. How can you work with it and not let it get you.

I said meet it head on.

Journal with it. Or Talk to it whichever works best for you. Out loud. ( But in private- We don’t want you hauled off)
Let it know you appreciate it trying to help you. Give it a name.
Ask it what it is trying to protect you from? Looking bad, failing?
Let it know you appreciate it sharing but you are still going ahead.
If it has some good points take them into account and maybe you can strike a deal. Ask it questions and find out why it is protecting.
Fear is usually protecting from
losing approval( failure)
feeling unsafe ( survival)
Find out which one or maybe it is both.

Lets say your fear monster says.
” You can’t afford to start this business. You don’t have the money. You are going to get into financial trouble. ( They are smart so he will remind you of all your previous failures.) or
If you jump out of that plane you are going to die. Your parachute will not open.
So, strike a deal or let him know how your going to address this.
We have both survival( security) and approval here. You will have all your financial stuff worked out, or you will make sure the parachute is checked out really well beforehand.
Say
” Thanks for sharing this with me …blah, blah, blah, and this is what I am going to do so it works this time. Then make a promise of what it is. If you can’t calm it down, well then just proclaim that you are going to do it and you want it on your side. So, please support me because I am going ahead.

When I made my first blog post on my very first blog ever, I was terrified. I knew it was irrational to be that scared, but at the time it really felt like something bad would happen. Nothing did and soon, I was having great fun and no fear writing on the web.

You deserve those big dreams. I know you can get around the fear monster. You will if you don’t give up. It is really not as scary as you think once you get to know it. Don’t let it bluff you.

Debbie

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